Having my priorities straight

So I was spotting my friend, when we were at the gym before school. He kept complaining about pulling a muscle, but was still trying to bench an amount he was obviously incapable of at the moment. So...

Me: you really need to stop.
Him: nah, I got this. I'm fine.
Me: If need be, I'm not going to bring you to the hospital, because I want to go to class.

My parents should feel proud that I hold education higher than other people's well being.


- Posted, while pondering the thought, "Am I the only one who thinks this is funny?", on my iPhone.

Did you notice that you start every single blog with "So...the other day... or So...my dad said..." Stop being a sneaky gay. Swish it up a bit! I want different prepositions, verbs, nouns, and adjectives you wouldn't be able to tell whether you're from Stanford or Cambodia.

Stanford Equestrian Club

I was visiting Stanford the other weekend with my family, when this conversation sparked.

Me: did you know Stanford is big on horses, I would be able to learn how to horseback ride if I wasn't allergic to them.
Dad (in a yelling manner): If I wanted you to learn how to ride a horse, I would just send you to Cambodia and not pay 50,000 a year.

Apparently my decision is between Stanford and Cambodia.







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Appropriate dog names

So my Texan cousins got a new dog, named Ginger, and sent over pictures. This sparked a whole family conversation about dog names.

Sam: Wtf, the dog is white. Why did they name it Ginger?
Me: yeah they should've named it after something white, like Dikon or KKK.
Dad: what'd she name it.
Sam. Ginger.
Dad: What! What is it a stripper dog?

So basically dogs can't be name Ginger without people thinking they are promiscuous.








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Recyclable Jokes Part I

So I haven't been around, mostly because everytime I feel like posting something I'm in photography and the computers in there have blocked personal blogs, even though you can straight up search for x-rated content.

Anyways, I felt inspired by the environmental episode of 30 Rock where Al Gore said you can recycle your jokes. So this is a joke my friend and I keep recycling.

Using "...without the merit."

Me: what even is tumbling?
Her: it's like gymnastics but without the merit.

Me: Ipads are basically netbooks but without the merit, and by merit I mean a keyboard.

Her: she's basically Hannah Montana but without any merit.

Me: the badminton team doesn't even cut people, it's a sport without the merit.

Me: we go to a public school, so we have no merit.

Her: I want to be a Pussycat Doll, but not sing so without the merit.
Me: so you want to be a stripper?

Her: my surprise party had no merit!
Me: yeah we definately didn't commit to anything.

Me: Southeast Asians are just Chinese people but without the merit.

Me: Oh god I hate ukeleles, they are guitars but without the merit.

There, I hope you start using the term too.


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